An Afternoon at the Revolution

Max Buffer here with another blog for you.

The other Saturday afternoon I was watching BBC 2, I could tell you which one but I think my recycling has been collected meaning I no longer have the Daily Mail TV Supplements and can’t research this point too easily. To be more exact I was watching dear Norman Wisdom’s “Square Peg”.

This made me wonder why we no longer do slapstick comedies of modern day political situations. For those of you not familiar with Norman’s film this one is about him being mistaken for a German General in World War Two.

So I thought to myself, why didn’t the current situation in Iraq bring about at least one film ridiculing Saddam Hussein in this classic of cinematic genres? If I was in Hollywood I would have been on the phone to Adam Sandler straight away to see if he wanted to make a film where his US Soldier was mistaken for Chemical Ali and then managed to make a bouncing bomb by crossing Semtex with Silly Putty.

Perhaps Terry and I can work on putting this right and making a film about it with some of today’s popular stars like Vernon Kaye or Chris Moyles (I know they’re not comedy stars but if you get them before anyone else does – and lets face it they’re so talented someone will make them a cinematic offer soon – then you’re quids in as a producer).

But this whole meandering afternoon thought process reminded me of the film I worked on for Norman Wisdom that never made it into production. I had all but forgotten about it until seeing him as jovial Norman Pitkin fighting the Nazis.

I have also always been a big fan of classic comedy and especially love the Marx Brothers, except for Gummo who I met once in New York and was rather rude about my female companion (admittedly he was right as it turned out she wasn’t female after all, but I wasn’t too clued up about those things back in the early 70s and coming from Newendyke meant ‘The Big Apple’ was a completely different world to me).

So in 1972 I rejoiced in my love of comedy and put pen to paper, writing a classic Norman Wisdom style script that would be a bio-pic of Karl Marx – but one where Norman played Marx more like Groucho and not the great leader of peoples minds. In my script he was now called Karlo, so that his name would rhyme with his brothers – Dummo, Strummo, Lego and Penno, who all had their own traits (idiot, ukulele player, builder and writer).

Karlo Marx also had his boss Mr Grimsdov, who ran the local paper where Marx was a journalist, writing articles about boiling beetroot and queuing for bread. It was during a drinking session with his brothers that he came upon the idea for Communism as Strummo didn’t like to share his Vodka but Karlo felt that everyone was entitled to at least a shot glass full. He enthused to his brothers that everyone should be treated the same and then there will be no arguing ever again. And he suggested that perhaps this proverbial shot glass may be chipped or have a crack down it soon they will all have nice neat shot glasses. Someone asks him about Emperor’s shot glass? Surely this would not only be perfect but have a gold rim too. This got others thinking perhaps it was time to overthrow the trinket obsessed Emperor and distribute his ornate egg collection to the masses.

This doesn’t sound like it lends itself to too much comedy, but if you imagine the scene played out with drunken characters who have had far too much Vodka, the slapstick potential is endless.

I approached Norman with the script and at first he was very polite. During our lunch we discussed many alternative ways of realising the film, as it soon became clear he wasn’t happy giving up his portrayal of the hapless Pitkin character. I pointed out that perhaps it was time for a change seeing as his classic films were now behind him and that perhaps he could portray an interpretation of Groucho by adding his own nuances to the character. He even was so bold to suggest that by copying the Marx Brothers I was being derivative and lacking original thinking. I said that surely if I was unoriginal then the film would already have been done by the Marx Brothers, and as they stuck to Vaudeville rather than progressing into political farce I was obviously bringing an original twist to the bio-pic.

But after the lunch, Norman graciously thanked me for the Lemon Soul and hailed a cab without ever committing to any of the ideas we discussed. I did see him once more after this at a Water Rats cricket match where Tim Rice got a respectable 60 not out and we both found ourselves cheering him as triumphantly returned to the pavilion. Norman looked over and said “We’ve met haven’t we?” and I explained we’d discussed the film proposal. Unfortunately he then caught the eye of someone else, I never saw who, and headed for the other side of the room, swiftly ending our conversation.

So there you have it. If you have a good idea for a film it is worth pursuing, but sometimes the ego of a star – even a fading one – can scupper your plans and you have to look else where for a ‘meal ticket’.